#7 It’ll All Be Ok In The End
~ 6 minute read time ~
“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
How are you? In a state of crisis? Breathe.
That’s not going to do anything in this moment? Okay.
Accept whatever has happened. Don’t catastrophise it further with negative thoughts. What’s done is done. Overthinking will not help the issue. Honestly, breathe. You are fine. It will be fine.
Give your Inner Child a big hug just like your Mum did when you’d skinned your knee as a kid. It always seems worse than it actually is. There, there, let’s get a plaster on that shall we?
Take a minute, take 10. Give yourself time to process. What has happened?
An argument with a loved one or colleague?
Made redundant/Lost your job?
Angry at your kids?
Received some bad news?
Feel depressed?
Stop trying to resist or change what has happened. Accept it. It’s already in the past. If it was your mistake, that’s fine. To err is human. Forgive yourself, put your hands up, then you can start to address it. Others will forgive you, if they don’t then that’s on them, not you. We all make mistakes.
You are okay, it’ll be okay.
As in gambling, don’t double-down on a loss. Do not make things worse. Just take the “L”, feel it, lean into it. Feels shit right? That’s ok. Except in this situation taking the “L” means “learn” not “lose”. Finding the lesson from this situation, what is it trying to teach you?
If it was an argument, how bad was it? On a scale of 1-10? You were hurt so you lashed out and said some nasty things? Yep been there, you’re not the first and you definitely won’t be the last human in all of history to say something shitty to someone. It’s all in your power to make amends, fix it.
Help is here in the form of the Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness called “Ho’oponopono”, which translates as “correction” in English. It’s so simple yet powerful, it has 4 parts:
I’m Sorry ~ Forgive Me ~ Thank You ~ I Love You ~
1) I’m Sorry take responsibility for what has happened. Even if your ego tells you it’s unfair. Own it. Be accountable. This will help you move on, don’t dwell. Just say sorry. Even if you’ve caused some pain for yourself. Are you overweight? Addicted to smoking / drinking / drugs / drama? Anger issues? Health problems? Start with these and say sorry to yourself. It’s hugely freeing. Try it. It may resonate more to verbalise it like this:
“I realise that I’m responsible for the (issue) in my life and I feel remorse that something in my consciousness has caused this.”
2) Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing, especially when you forgive yourself. That is you standing up and taking full accountability. It stops us descending into a tit-for-tat petty squabble. Even if deep down you don’t think it was your fault, be the bigger person. Take the high road. Forgive yourself, then forgive the other person/people. That’s the start to healing, growing and being better. Ask for forgiveness - it doesn’t matter to whom, just ask. Remember your remorse from step 1.
3) Thank You say thank you. As above it doesn’t really matter who or what you’re thanking. Yourself, the other person, the Universe / God / Buddha / Allah / Ganesh / whatever. Just be thankful, feel gratitude for the thing/entity that just forgave you. Repeat it.
4) I Love You this can be interchangeable with step 1, it doesn’t matter which way round they go. Say “I Love You”, repeatedly - to yourself, to others, to your body, to your kids, to the air you breathe, to the cooling wind on a hot day, to the challenges you face, to the mistakes you’ve made. Say it with real meaning, intention and feeling. It’s powerful.
How are you feeling now? Less anxious I hope? Gained a little more perspective on the situation? Is it really that bad?
An old Persian adage that Abraham Lincoln once employed in one of his speeches before he became the 16th President was:
“This too shall pass.”
Everything in life is transient, in a state of flux and change. This too shall pass.
Failed an exam? This too shall pass.
Hate your job or your boss? This too shall pass.
Scared of Coronavirus? This too shall pass.
Let.
It.
Go.
Welcome flow into your life. People tell themselves that they dislike change. Well, our egos don’t like change, but if nothing ever changed we’d all die. Life would be boring. It’d be Groundhog Day, just without Bill Murray and where’s the fun in that?
It will all be okay in the end.
If it’s not okay?
It’s not the End.
Feel better my friend. Tomorrow is a new day.
Love
LP x
