#21 We All Need to Feel Seen & Heard
~ 15 minute read time ~
Hey you! I’m so glad you’re here to read this, thanks for coming. You’re wonderful. Let’s start shall we?
Whether you’re an introvert, an extrovert, life of the party or a shy sit-in-the-corner type - or some combination of these, we all need to feel seen and heard. As humans, we need to feel some sense of connection.
How often can you go through your days and genuinely not feel like you’ve been acknowledged or if anything you’ve said has been properly heard? How many times do you nod, smile, say hello or even hold the door for people to then be ignored?
I always try to catch the eye of strangers on the street in the hope of initiating a smile, a wink, a hello or any kind of gesture. It’s natural to want to try to communicate, us humans are gregarious by nature. We like to be in a pack, with our tribe or group. How much time did we spend as kids, teenagers and young people desperately trying to find ‘our people’?
Society works on energy exchange - walk into a shop and wait in the queue, you can feel the energy around, you can sense a mood whether it’s positive or negative. At work, do you ever get a negative vibe if someone has the hump and it somehow spreads? Or if someone corners you to tell you their lovely news, and they’re so chirpy you can’t help but take some of it with you. That spreads too.
Too often now we all make surface level acknowledgements of each other. As you know I love the Stoic approach to life. They knew that life could be taken away in a moment. That’s the mindset I use to try and improve the quality of my communications with others.
When I greet someone, whether a friend, family member or new acquaintance I make sure to really bring a level of warmth as if it’s the first time I’ve met that person. I hug my kids and kiss them every time, even if it’s just a routine school pick up or drop off. I want them to know my love for them is deep and unconditional. Good day, bad day - they still get a massive hug from Daddy.
Equally, say hello like it’s a genuine treat to see that person and say goodbye like it’s the last time you’ll ever get to do it. It may sound somewhat dramatic, but nothing gets left unsaid. I’ve heard so many tragic stories of a person unexpectedly passing away and their son/daughter/wife/husband having a sense of guilt about not saying goodbye properly. Or not telling them they were loved because they didn’t know it was the last time.
Take no relationship for granted.
I do this with friends too. I make eye contact, pre-COVID I would handshake properly, now it’s a fist or elbow bump - but I imbue my interactions and greetings with a level of love that I believe is truly felt. The best thing is it takes the same amount of effort as the normal greeting you would offer.
I know that should I get hit by the proverbial Big Red Bus and depart this earthly plane, that anyone who means anything to me will know what they meant to me. Nothing is left to chance this way. This may sound overly emotional. For me though, it pays it forward tenfold. The kindness, light and love that I receive back is greater than the effort I put in. I don’t give to receive by the way, that’s putting conditions on things and that’s not the way of nature.
I’ve been spending a lot of time in nature this year, out on long walks during both lockdowns, and I see how much nature creates its own flow and ambience. The trees and shrubs feed the birds, the birds then spread the seeds to propagate the next generation of trees that will grow so on and so forth. There’s a beautiful balance.
As humans, I feel we have lost our way a bit. I mean with our egos, our emotions and overly active anxiety ridden minds that we’ve forgotten the essence of what it means to be part of a wider society and ecosystem. To ensure the survival of our species, we really need to strip away some of the modern contrivances with which we’ve foisted upon ourselves.
We cheat on diet, we cheat on sleep, we sit for too long, we don’t move enough, we take more than we give, we consume endless nonsense on our devices. All the while nature just keeps on going. If we learn more from nature then I think we can turn things around. All of the wisdom and knowledge we need to be better already exists in the flora and fauna that surrounds us.
“The light in me bows to the same light within you.”
One of my favourite greetings that I learned through yoga is the Sanskrit word ‘Namaste’ which is often translated as “the light in me bows to the same light within you.”
I love the sentiment this conveys.
The key currency of our species is in our social abilities and language is the jewel in the crown of the animal world. Language, consciousness and thought are the only things that separates us from our primate relatives. Let’s use them for our betterment. Let’s see and hear each other properly.
Let’s strengthen our social connections and raise the level. We’ve slipped a bit these last few years haven’t we?
Too much division, too much otherness, too much arguing, too much misinformation.
If we genuinely engaged with each other to listen and celebrate our similarities as opposed to our differences, then we’d already be on the path to peace and contentment.
If we all want a more peaceful, happy and healthy world, then it has to come from us. Not from some external thing, we can’t even rely on the people in charge - the politicians and Governments can’t do it until we all start living the ideals we speak about so often.
“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.”
Granted, at the moment, it’s difficult to add feeling or touch to our interactions as it’s not appropriate to hug or shake hands due to concerns of spreading COVID, but even behind our masks we can still smile with kind eyes, and say hello.
See what happens - start making eye contact with people, even if you don’t know them. You don’t know what they’re going through in that moment, but a kind eye or nod from a complete stranger may have just the right amount of positive impact that person needed. They may go home and feel a little better about their day.
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”
Smile, nod, say hello, ask how they are. Don’t just accept ‘Fine’.
Show interest, I don’t mean become a nosy so-and-so but enquire after how they’re feeling. I know we’re all busy but it probably only takes a few extra seconds out of your day. Who knows, you may save a life in simply asking how someone is doing. Sometimes just enabling someone to feel seen and heard by a fellow soul can be enough.
Time is love after all.
Try this next time you’re doing the school run, or walking down your local High Street; take a deep breath, pin your shoulders back and carry yourself upright.
It’s amazing how many more passing glances you catch, how many more things you notice and it spreads good cheer. By doing so, you feel better about yourself - you carry yourself more proudly, your shoulders are no longer rounded or hunched and you’re projecting your heart energy out into the world.
I don’t know if you believe or even know about chakras and energy centres, but there is so much energy created in and surrounding our hearts that it can impact others. We are creatures of emotions and feelings. Imagine you’re like Iron Man, his heart is where his power comes from - it’s true for all of us. Be like Iron Man!
Also, regardless of all this spiritual energy stuff, by carrying yourself with a strong, open and proud comportment it tells the world that you’re open for business. By this I mean, through your body language you can communicate that you’re open to giving and receiving.
Honestly, give it a go - see how others react differently to you. You might not notice it straight away but with some sustained effort, people will come to you and be attracted by your energy. They’ll see that you’re literally an upstanding citizen. Opportunities for connections will appear more readily, you’ll have more awareness, you’ll breathe more deeply and the path will rise to meet your feet.
You’ll create an aura and radiate kindness which will attract more of what you want in life. The magic works in that it also serves to push away those in a low energy state that may wish you mischief. You’ll be resonating with such confident, bright energy they’ll shy away because they can’t deal with your vibrations until they raise their own level.
So please, especially now in the season of goodwill - if you wish to be seen and heard, make sure you’re doing the same for others in kind.
Do it for yourself, do it to feel good, do it for others but know that once you start seeing and hearing people you’ll also be seen and heard.
By acting like this we’ll make more friends than enemies, we’ll create more connections than divisions and our little corner of the world will be much better for it.
While we try not to spread the virus, we can spread goodwill and love through thoughtful action.
I see you, I hear you and you’re amazing - now pass it on!
Namaste 🙏💡❤️
Love
LP x
P.S. Comment below, share and let’s get this message out to as many as possible that may need to hear this.
