#32 What Do You Want?
~ 8 minute read time ~
You’re sitting there in the restaurant, you’ve mulled over the menu and the waiter asks:
“Are you ready to order?”
Um…
What do you want? Now imagine, the waiter is actually The Universe 💫 and it’s asking you what you want in life? So what’ll it be?
What is it that you most want in this life?
You may think of something high minded and worthy like world peace, the end of poverty or it might be entirely ego-based such as a big-ass house, loadsa money, a sports car with all the toys or something vague like “oh I just want to be happy and healthy.”
The Universe 💫 goes off to the cosmic kitchen and brings you… not the you thing you asked for! Why is that? Were you not clear?
Did you say “Diagon Alley or diagonally?”
Tenuous Harry Potter references aside, the problem is The Universe 💫 doesn’t speak English, in fact, it doesn’t speak any human language. It understands energy and frequency. You can verbalise your wants and desires as much as you like, but if you’re not following through with your thoughts, actions, mindset, energy and general vibe you’re tripping yourself up.
Say you’re awarded a penalty in football (soccer for our American friends), it’s only 12 yards from the penalty spot to the goal. Do you confidently run up and smash it into the top corner? Or do you apologetically toe poke the ball so it barely even rolls towards the goal line? At least if you give it your all yet miss with gusto you’ll know you gave it everything, rather than meekly prodding it in the general direction of the goal not even troubling the goalkeeper.
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
I’m only really learning this lesson now as I turn 42 years of age, is 42 really the answer to life, the Universe and everything? I sort of hoped for the best but never really believed things would turn out for me. The lesson being that you may tell yourself you’ve tried to achieve your dreams but have you really? Honestly? Genuinely?
Or, like I did for way too long, sort of half-ass it by being too focused on what you didn’t want rather than what you did? The reason this is problematic is because it’s the hope that kills. You live a life in limbo, focused on an imagined future but with the handbrake left on. You may have analysis paralysis where you’ve spent so long looking at all the options, yet you’ve done nothing towards any of them.
You jolt towards your goals, then life gets in the way and you give up because the vim and vigour you had when you were younger seems a long lost energy, when you’re surrounded with the trappings of a life half-lived.
You then try and change your thinking, or adapt how you feel around your situation. Most of us have some kind of challenge in the main areas of life; job/career, relationships, money worries, raising children, a sense of purpose and meaning and anything else we encounter on this mortal coil.
Many things in life we must endure, it’s fair to assume that some areas of life we expect difficulties but in these situations we understand that, at some point, the challenge has an end and there may even be a reward to look forward to.
For example, imagine a runner who knows that when they run, they put themselves into a state of discomfort for training - they get out of breath, the heart rate increases and they sweat. This is for a defined period of time, 20, 30, 60 minutes plus - but they endure it because they know it will end. And enduring the struggle often brings benefits, namely increased fitness and a healthier body.
Endurance has a noble connotation to it. It’s a synonym of fortitude which is also considered a positive trait. I was listening to the brilliant Unf*ck Nation podcast by Gary John Bishop, where he makes the distinction between endurance and tolerance. Endurance shows a strength of will. What people tolerate or ‘put up with’ is subtly different.
In human relationships, what we tolerate is often much less than what we dreamed of for ourselves. There’s a lot to be said for managing expectations, but as I’ve quoted from Buddhism before, that all attachment is suffering - if we stay in a situation / relationship / job / body shape / mindset for too long and we tolerate it, what are we giving up? What are we perpetuating? What are we resisting?
Are we giving away our power to create the life we want? Are we giving up on following our bliss because we’re comfortable? Our identities are only created in our minds to perpetuate itself as a constructed timeline of ‘Self’. The Self or Ego just wants to keep going as it is in a sense of certainty, it takes over a lot of our thinking for us so we can get on with our lives.
Most of the things we do every day is handled by our subconscious minds, it’s a hugely efficient piece of kit. It runs everything beautifully until we get to the point where we realise that we’ve lived the majority of our lives half-asleep. Maybe you’re reading this from a happy place and perfectly contented with your lot, keep doing you if that’s the case - more power to you!
For me, based on my personal experience, I had a rapid and painful awakening almost 2 years ago and I suddenly realised, like Neo from The Matrix, that I was merely an avatar walking around a program constructed entirely by my subconscious mainframe. I own it all and the consequences.
It all happened on my watch, yet I didn’t have the awareness to do anything about it. If I ever felt that underlying sense of unease, I just buried it or indulged in other pursuits to distract and quiet that inner voice, the other self that knows - the intuition, or whatever you want to call it.
I soon realised that we are not our thoughts, feelings or emotions, we’re not even our minds.
Who are we then?
We are the observer, the witness, the soul who sits at the back of the cinema watching the movie of our lives unfold. We get so caught up in the basic instincts of our animalistic meat suits (most normal people call it ‘the body’), that we forget that we’re a truly living, breathing, creative being that’s made up of the same stuff that volcanoes, stars and trees are.
We can become so beaten down by the mundane, routine, bill-paying aspects of life that we forget ourselves - we forget to be grateful, we stop shining our light, our love for life and we hide. We start allowing society to tell us we’re a domesticated pet cat when we’re a prowling, all powerful MF’ing panther!
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”
If you want to make a change, no matter how small - just know that it’s never too late, never too big, never too silly, never irrelevant. If you have even the tiniest flicker of a flame for something, try it out, it’s your purpose to kindle it further into a fire that burns brightly, that it lights you up from within and provides warmth to those who care to join you on the journey.
And don’t allow anyone to diminish your dream. In fact, in the very early stages of making changes - don’t tell people your plans, because it gives the impression you’re asking for their permission to do it. By asking for someone’s opinion so early on, you’re making them a stakeholder - which is fine if you need them to hold you accountable and keep you honest in your pursuit. It’s not fine if they use that as an invitation to trample over your daisies.
You’ll know you’re on the right path towards your purpose, because people will take notice of the changes you’re making and they’ll talk amongst themselves. They may complain because you no longer fit into their neat categorisation of who they think you to be which messes up their comfy world view.
“Mediocrity always attacks excellence.”
Take away people’s power to judge you, revoke their permission by just doing you. You can still care for people, you just need to stop caring what they think of you.
Do you to the Nth degree and vibe so high that they can barely even speak your language any more! They can try and bring their negativity or their “I’m not being funny but…” messaging but you can kindly, compassionately yet gracefully decline their offer of a ‘reality check’.
Their truth is not THE truth.
You’re the only one who can walk your path, not anyone else. Don’t kick the can down the road either to when you think it may be a better time, don’t let it become a regret - it’s later than you think!
We’re like the Genie from Disney’s Aladdin, because we have PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER in this itty bitty living space (our body/mind). Like the Genie, once freed from your enclosed space (limiting beliefs) you can start granting your own wishes.
So, dear Genie - what do you want?
Love
LP x
Resources
Books:
Unf*ck Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life - Gary John Bishop
Videos:
How to Uncover What’s Actually Holding You Back|Gary John Bishop on Impact Theory
