#23 I Wish You A Stoic Christmas
~ 18 minute read time ~
Christmas 2020.
It may be a Christmas we endure rather than enjoy?
It’s such a subjective experience the way we choose to celebrate the festive season, or not, it’s similar to how we choose to live our lives I suppose.
For some it’s the most magical time of the year where giving and receiving is a joy. Yet, for others it’s a time of heightened sensitivity based on disappointments, loss and sadness. It also comes right at the mid-point of Winter, when the nights are at their darkest.
For me, Christmas is bittersweet - I have always tried hard to re-capture that genuine sense of wonder, magic and excitement from my childhood years but then there’s always the anti-climax where I’ve built up my expectations far too high and then when it comes and goes so quickly, I’m left feeling flat into the New Year.
There’s something beautifully melancholic about the season too that I think is worth reflecting on and, at the very least, respecting the passing of the Winter Solstice and celebrating nature as she has provided for us throughout the year, and all the while knowing the darkness will slowly start to brighten a little each day through to spring.
Now with 2020 being affected by ‘one thing and another’ as they say on my favourite Kermode and Mayo podcast, maybe the feeling of melancholy or disappointment at Christmas is amplified. Especially with the hokey-cokey approach to policy by the UK Government - lockdown measures are to be eased! Nope lockdown tightened! Eased? Revoked? In, out, shake it all about.
I imagine so many people would have had some glimmer of hope of a vaguely ‘normal’ Christmas, but will struggle to feel festive now they’re unable to travel to see loved ones.
It’ll have to be a Stoic Christmas then, where we feel whatever emotions arise within us but maintain our decorum and not ride the highs or lows too much. Keep Festive and Carry On!
If you’ve read any of my previous blog posts, you’ll know that I frequently refer to the Stoics for comfort and consolation, not just at Christmas, but every single day. It’s astounding how a 2000+ year old philosophy is as relevant now as it has ever been, maybe even more so!
I feel like I’ve navigated this year fairly well, on a consistent footing and even decided to make some Big Changes in the middle of a worldwide pandemic - well, there’s never truly a ‘perfect’ time to try anything is there? I place my gratitude squarely at the feet of the likes of Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus et al for their guidance from beyond the grave.
They seem to have an appropriate quote or perfect piece of wisdom for pretty much any eventuality that life may throw at us. They lived during times of war during the days of the Roman Empire, unstable regions, plagues, treachery, murder, persecution of various communities and more. So their words, thoughts and actions are tried, true and thoroughly lived and tested.
These are not just your run-of-the-mill ‘pen and paper’ philosophers. No! They suffered as much as any of us, actually, they probably suffered more.
That’s why they offer the contemporary anxious mind such crumbs of comfort. If you’re prepared to inquire and look for answers, asking the questions that weighed as heavily on human consciousness then as it does now you’ll find philosophical gold.
To help you this Christmas I’ve compiled a handful of carefully curated Stoic quotes that’ll ease your mind and soothe your soul through this festive season.
Forget all the outside chatter, there’s nothing you can do about it anyway. Don’t be a slave to your thoughts and emotions, they go as quickly as they come. Grab a warm cup or a cold glass of something and allow these words to fortify your inner fortress.
For clarity and ease of understanding, I’ve added modern explanations following each quote to help maximise their impact.
By all means, take your own meanings if mine don’t fit your reading of them - philosophy is always up for debate!
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.”
~ Realise how little control you actually have over anything outside of you and let it go.
“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think”
~ Life is too short for fear, stress, worry and anxiety. Stop leaving things to ‘some day, one day’ - we don’t have as much time as we think we do!
“Life is very short and anxious for those who forget the past, neglect the present, and fear the future.”
~ Live in the moment, there is no past or future - only NOW. Truly live in the Now and the rest will take care of itself.
“How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?”
~ Stop accepting less for yourself. Start wanting better for yourself and put in the effort. Don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself, crack on with it.
“Hang on to your youthful enthusiasms — you’ll be able to use them better when you’re older.”
~ Remember the things you loved as a child, your sense of wonder and joy in the little things. Try and get back to the inquisitive mind you had. It’ll help to keep you young and healthy of mind as you grow older.
“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”
~ Exercise gratitude, count your blessings - be happy with what you have. Happiness does not exist in any material thing, it comes from within you. If you feel you lack anything, make a list of 10 things you’re truly grateful for that you already have (health, friends, resilience, food, a roof over your head) and you’ll realise how abundant you are.
“Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.”
~ Take each day at a time. We live and die everyday when we awake and then sleep. Don’t take your days for granted.
“Stop drifting…Sprint to the finish. Write off your hopes, and if your well-being matters to you, be your own saviour while you can.”
~ Manage your expectations, don’t rely on external things to happen for your happiness. Start having your own back and become your own best friend.
“Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day… The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.”
~ Leave nothing to chance, live each day as it’s your last and nothing will be left unsaid or undone. Don’t wait to do things you wish to do, do them now. There’s never enough time, never enough money, nothing is perfect - get on with living your dreams now. Don’t be scared to try.
“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”
~ Everything you need, you have - it’s already within you. No material possession, job, house, car, person will give you true happiness. You need to create your own and everything else will fall into line. Get your own inner house in order, that way you’ll find contentment.
“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”
~ Get rid of vampires, the energy suckers, the ones who drain you. The ones who aren’t happy for you, the ones who take and don’t give. Even if they’re family, put some distance between you and them. Change your circle of friends. Jim Rohn famously said “you are the average of the five people you spend most time with” - look around, are you happy with your team?
“ If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.”
~ Try things, fail, try again, fail better. Keep trying and doing. People will judge, let them - what they think of you is none of your business. Most people are too scared to try and will never change. Do the work to become better and create the life you dream of, it’s surprisingly within reach.
“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
~ Make your own luck, live every day being ready for luck to visit you. When it does, you’ll be prepared to maximise each and every ‘lucky’ opportunity as it arises. Funny how some people seem more lucky than others right? Hmm…
All that’s left to be said is for me to wish you a very Merry, and above all, Stoic Christmas!
Love
LP x
P.S. Exciting things are coming in the New Year! I’ll keep you posted.
